you can just call me, mrs. dylan

a teen's story on pain

(I decided to one of these little posts, every Monday)

I have come across an interesting blog, "Teens In Chronic Pain", its inactive currently, but there are some good, and honest posts on this blog. I understand pain, and the struggles of dealing with it. I understand the desire to conceal your external flaws, to appear more 'normal'. It's a little harder to grasp, unless you suffered on going pain. I suffer a rare nerve disorder, and my right leg suffers a limp because of a fall I suffered, around the time of my surgery. I'm a sore site to witness, on my "bad days"; the days when my pain is so intense, I can hardly move. Yet, my faith in the Lord, nor myself ever quivers. Yes, its frightening and hurtful, but I am still me regardless of this. I am still Dominique, and anybody else who suffers pain: you are still you.

I spoke to many teens my age, about the topic of pain. When, I had to endure a two month stint in the hospital, I met many people of different backgrounds, and religions. One girl, in peculiar, named Rachel, made me feel saddened each time she spoke. She was no longer religious because of her pain. She felt rejected and flawed, and blamed Him for bestowing her with health wise imperfections. I grasped her pain; she was new to sickness, and the idea of being sick frightened her. She felt alone, and lost. She spoke of how the Lord was meant to be our "savior", yet he had not saved her, nor anybody in the hospital from suffering or sickness. She felt shunned. I understood, I truly did. However, telling somebody you understand, when they suffering a depression or grief, only worsens things, for the person and yourself, as well. I started talking to Rachel, each day; speaking of my struggles, and point all a few verses that spoke to me. She responded silently, listening to my words. Rachel, eventually felt more secure with herself. She's currently doing her old vocation of being an alter servant.

What was the point of that story, you might be wondering? People let their struggles wrap them, and prevent them from loving. We are all flawed, there is no perfection, except for God. Yes, there all people who will never understand, and mock your flaws, but Christ will never turn his cheek to us. At times, when I feel so overwhelmed by pain, I simply ask him to lend me a small bit of his infinite strength, so that I might be able to overcome my darkness. There are two types of people, in regards to pain: they cling or shun religion. I can truly say that my faith has been strengthened inexorably by my illness. But, the Rachels of the world, are scared and therefore weakened by the things they cannot accept. I want to make people accept their illnesses, whether walking with a limp or a gentic disease, and embrace it. Use your traits to not only serve the Lord, but as things to use to embrace yourself.

you are my sunshine when things are gray

friends are more valuable than diamonds from tiffany's

I never felt so grateful as I do this year, for my wonderful support system. I have some of the most wonderful friends alive. These girls, make me smile each day and sometimes I can't control my happiness. I couldn't survive my illness, and truthfully I wouldn't bother to fight it, like going to school today, if it weren't for them. I just wanted to say thank you, and that I love you guys. I struggle more then I like to let on, but my friends make me feel strong and I embrace certain things I never did before. I praise the Lord, that I met such wonderful people and that I had the grace of their friendship. What's the point of this story? There's nothing more wonderous than your support system. Whether, you're suffering an illness, listening to Taylor Swift on repeat and crying, and somehow your lovely friend makes you smile again (you know who this dedicated to) or just making you laugh; friends truly are a treasure from God, and should be treasured, because true friends are utterly precious.

let's take a look-see, shall we?

So, there's this boy, who shall not be named. He's kind of goofy, and he's not my ideal, but he makes me smile. He has gorgeous eyes, and underneath his immature, sometimes annoying, exterior, I know he's a wonderful person. Yet, I do not like this person, in that aspect. He's more of an inspiration for my writing, and yes occasionally I do sneak a few glances. But, that does not make me love him, or like him in that sense. He makes me laugh, and instantly that draws me to him. But, I don't need him, or even want him. I just like him. He's just another boy who makes me smile. He's just a person. Yet, sometimes I even I have to wonder if maybe there's a little bit more to my emotions, then I care to talk about it. Or acknowledge, for that matter.

please will you share your sunshine with my night?

When I am with you, this soul feels whole again

My coffee is black as night and the sky never looked so bright. I used to feel real special each time you whispered my name. But, the times have changed and I now know your love was just a game. So, I kissed you in the morning and you let me wear your ring.